by Mark Murton
Original Air Date: October 15, 1989
Directed by: David G. Hilier
Cat Out Of The Bag Alert! This review contains MAJOR spoilers for this sketch. We strongly suggest you watch the sketch before reading the review!
Synopsis: One segment of this comedy sketch show starring Gareth Hale and Norman Pace introduces a new method to help the seeing impaired. Note: As with much of Hale & Pace’s material, the comedy is of questionable taste.
Cat Burglar (Scene Stealer): The sketch starts with Gareth outside an ‘Animal Psychology Unit’ telling us how “The world of the visually disabled has become that more assured since the introduction of . . . the “guide cat.” At that moment Norman stumbles out through the door of the building with a Siamese cat straining at the leash, seemingly intent only on escape. (Note that two different Siamese cats with slightly different coloring share the role of the Guide Cat.)
The cat continues down the street, pulling Norman into a bush and then a brick pillar outside a house as it goes.
“The guide cat is ever aware that its first duty is the care and safety of its master,” explains Gareth’s narration as the cat leads Norman along a high wall.
“The guide cat is also trained to remain poised and calm whatever the crisis,” assures Gareth as the cat reacts violently to the crash of a metal dustbin lid being dropped, charging around out of control.
“It even knows where to stop and wait for a number 53 bus,” suggest Gareth.
“It can also calculate distances and always chooses the most desirable route home.”
As Gareth further explains how cats know “Busy highways can be a danger to life and limb,” the cat is looking out from under a car. The cat runs off (actually the poor cat actor is yanked back unexpectedly) and Norman emerges from under the car being dragged by the lead.
“Until at last,” concludes Gareth, “it guides its grateful master back to the safety and comfort of his own home.” The cat enters through the cat flap . . . while Norman crashes through the glass door.
Final Mewsings: Yet more proof that people are here to serve cats and not the other way round.
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