by Mark Murton

Original Air Date: March 15, 2016

Directed by: Michael McDonald

Cat Out of the Bag Alert! This review contains spoilers for this episode!

Synopsis: Jake (Andy Samberg) attempts to help Terry (Terry Crews) solve a case from his past to put a stop to the taunts from his old precinct. Meanwhile, Adrian moves in with Charles, and Amy and Rosa get ultra-competitive during a bomb dismantling class.

Cat Burglars (Scene Stealers): At the station Terry receives a box, prompting Peralta to enquire what’s inside. “The worst thing in the world,” replies Terry as he reaches in and pulls out an adorable fluffy Snowshoe kitten. As the kitten gives a plaintive cry Terry snaps, “Shut up, stupid!”

Taken aback, Peralta asks who sent him the kitten and why he hates it. “Because it’s not a kitten,” replies Terry. “It’s a slap in the face for something that happened 20 years ago.”

A flashback to 1995 reveals when Terry has just made detective and joins the six-five precinct where he is repeatedly cold-shouldered by the other detectives until he has solved a case. His chance comes when he thinks he’s cracked a series of high-rise break-ins, but when they go to arrest the alleged perpetrator, ex-acrobat Dimitri Kuzkho (Andrew Oilveri), they find him confined to a wheelchair with a red tabby cat sitting on the floor beside him.

Flustered, Terry points to the man’s cat and blurts out that he must have trained the cat to do the burglaries (“That’s why they’re called cat burglars!”). Hence the members of the 6-5 now send him cats to remind him of his humiliation.

Despite his supposed hatred of cats Terry is always gentle with the kitten and even determines to find someone to adopt it. He sits at his desk taking photos of the kitten with his phone (“You better look cute in this photo or no-one will want you”).

Peralta joins him and advises that he just needs to stand up to the bullies at the 6-5, so Terry sets off to confront them. 45 minutes later Terry returns, this time with the original kitten plus two more equally adorable kitties in his arms.

The next morning Terry is at his desk with the three kittens in a cage beside him.

Peralta arrives and remarks how cute they look. “Don’t call them cute,” Terry admonishes, “They’d kill us all if they were smart enough to use weapons.”

Peralta suggests the only way to stop the taunting from his ex colleagues is to solve the case. Terry warms to the theme, declaring they can then “grind these kittens up and shove ‘em down their throats!” As they leave Peralta pauses to reassure the kittens and then blows them kisses as he follows after Terry.

Things don’t go to plan and Terry is once again humiliated in front of the members of the 6-5, but when he arrives at the station the next morning Peralta informs him he stayed there all night — with the kittens for company, whom he’s now named Hans, John and Nakatomi (“I gave them all Die Hard names”) — and has made a breakthrough due to a clue he’s spotted in the photo of Terry with Kuzkho and his cat.

Armed with this information they leave to make an arrest as Peralta declares, “Cat Squad assemble!” “Leave the damn cats,” commands Terry. That’s the last we see of the cats in this episode.

Final Mewsings: Cat Squad Assemble would have been a great spin-off series.

Many thanks to Stevie Holcomb for also letting us know about the cats in this episode.

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