The Dick Van Dyke Show – “Never Name a Duck”

Original Air Date: September 26, 1962

Directed by: John Rich

Cat Out of the Bag Alert! This review contains spoilers for this episode!

Synopsis: Rob (Dick Van Dyke) brings home two baby ducks whom his son Ritchie (Larry Matthews) adores only to have to face some harsh realities later on.

Kitty Cameo: After one of the ducks dies Laura (Mary Tyler Moore) notices that the other duck is not looking too well and insists Rob take it to a veterinarian. When Rob enters the office, several people are waiting, including a woman named Miss Glasset (Geraldine Wall) who is holding a long-haired calico cat named Lilybeth.

The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - people waiting in veterinarian's office including Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall with longhaired calico cat Lilybeth
The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Rob Dick van Dyke carrying duck into veterinarian's office with Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall with longhaired calico cat Lilybeth
The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Rob Dick van Dyke sitting with duck in veterinarian's office with Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall with longhaired calico cat Lilybeth

Rob sits next to Miss Singleton (Jane Dulo) who is holding a small dog. All of them eye Rob warily. The woman with the dog asks Rob to guess the age of her pooch Lulu and is insulted when he guesses too high. She sneers at him as a “duck lover” and hopes her dog doesn’t need glasses. After the woman leaves, the lady with the cat comments on how crazy it is that some people get so wrapped up with their pets. “After all, a dog is a dog,” she says.

The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall with longhaired calico cat Lilybeth talking to Rob Dick van Dyke with duck
The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall with longhaired calico cat Lilybeth
The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall with longhaired calico cat Lilybeth

Rob agrees with her that he doesn’t talk to his duck like a person. “A duck is a duck,” the lady states. “And a dog’s a dog,” Rob agrees. “And a cat … is a person!” the lady states, hugging Lilybeth.

The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall hugging longhaired calico cat Lilybeth
The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall hugging longhaired calico cat Lilybeth

The veterinarian’s assistant (Frank Adamo) calls Miss Glassett in. She assures her cat that there’s no need to be afraid, that the doctor only wants to talk to her. She turns back to the Rob and explains, “She thinks she’s pregnant.” She then shakes her head firmly and walks inside the office.

The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall carrying longhaired calico cat Lilybeth past Rob Dick van Dyke and duck
The Dick van Dyke Show - Never Name a Duck - Miss Glasset Geraldine Wall holding longhaired calico cat Lilybeth with veterinarian assistant Frank Adamo

It should also be mentioned that Sally’s (Rose Marie) reason for not taking the baby ducks home was because her cat, Mr. Henderson, would likely make a meal of them.

Final Mewsings: Cats usually know if they’re pregnant or not.

Many thanks to Erin T. Aardvark for reminding us of the cat in this episode.

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