If I Had a Million (1932)

by Ted Davis

Directed by: Stephen Roberts (Grandma segment)

Cat Out of the Bag Alert! This review contains some spoilers for this film!

Synopsis: Released during the depths of the Depression, this omnibus movie follows elderly but still feisty mega-millionaire John Glidden (Richard Bennett) as he presents a million dollars each to folks picked at random out of a phone book. His selections cover a wide strata of society, and the individual stories skitter from the gently humorous to the heavily ironic (make that much too heavily ironic), from roughhouse slapstick to stark tragedy, and to nicely heartfelt and more. The impressive cast includes Gary Cooper, W.C. Fields, Charles Laughton, Frances Dee, Jack Oakie, George Raft, Mary Boland, Roscoe Karns, and the always wonderful Joyce Compton.

Cat Cattle Call: In the final story, stern and unrelenting Mrs. Garvey (Blanche Friderici) rules the Idylwood rest home for ladies with an iron-hand, refusing to let the residents (i.e. captives) enjoy themselves or even take in a wayward kitten, with the result that what should be a sanctuary for elderly women is instead a depressing, soul-destroying environment. That all changes when the also still feisty Mrs. Mary Walker (May Robson) receives Mr. Glidden’s million dollar gift, immediately transforming the dark and desolate building to a real home, bright and warm, and replete with cats and kittens that inhabit virtually every room on the property – except the kitchen.

If I Had a Million - tuxedo and tabby cat in office
If I Had a Million - white cat, white kitten and gray cat in room with Mary Walker May Robson and Mrs. Garvey Blanche Friderici
If I Had a Million - white cat and gray cat in room with Mary Walker May Robson and Mrs. Garvey Blanche Friderici

No particular cat is emphasized in the movie, but multiple cats and kittens of various shapes and attitudes can be seen contributing to the general tone and upkeep of the revitalized establishment.

If I Had a Million - cat in elderly woman's lap
If I Had a Million - numerous cats on floor of old women's home
If I Had a Million - numerous cats on floor of old women's home animated gif

As a bonus, Mrs. Walker organizes a co-ed (!) dance, and the drummer’s kit is emblazoned with a Felix-the-Cat type insignia.

If I Had a Million - drum kit with Felix the cat

Final Mewsings: Those ladies will have to watch their feet, lest accidents should occur!

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